How to stop overthinking and confidently embrace action


Living intentionally


June 23 2023

Is your brain overheating from trying to make a hard decision or a bigger commitment? Are you seeking or needing certainty before taking action?

Waiting to feel “ready”?

Needing to plan things out?

Figuring out all the various worst case scenarios?

Researching endlessly to find the “right” answers?

Yup, I have… countless times.

I’ve had plenty of those moments waiting for the “right” time, spending time “figuring things out”, and researching and trying to learn from others what I can.

But at times, that need for “certainty” in what I was doing was actually holding me back.

I had the fear of failure

My beliefs were that mistakes were bad and I had to do what I could to avoid them by making the “right” choices. Nor did I not want to “get hurt” either. I made certainty mean that I’ll make fewer mistakes or waste my time on the “wrong” things.

I faced analysis paralysis

Amongst all the different options and possibilities out there, it felt overwhelming trying to “figure out” which one was the “right” one for me. I wanted more info/options to make sure I was fully informed, but at times, the more choices I gathered, the more lost I felt. Eventually, it’d lead me to procrastination or completely halt my progress. I used certainty as an excuse not to take further action.

It made me question… In a relationship, in business, and in life, can you ever be completely certain about something?

My realization was dun…dun..dun… “no”.

*cue the drawn-out “ugggghh” with a deep sigh*

There are so many shifting factors

You might learn something that could change your mind. Life circumstances are never unchanging. Other people’s thoughts, beliefs, and actions are also involved as situations are never insularly.

Instead of seeking that certainty before taking action or making that commitment, it’s actually about finding that trust within yourself.

You don’t know if this person you’re dating will be your forever person.

You don’t know whether your business decisions will pan out… or when.

You don’t know what will truly happen in your future.

So instead of developing anxiety about the what ifs or allowing the fear, doubt, and uncertainty to hold you back from what you truly want, it’s more about trusting yourself that you’ll be able to handle whatever could come your way.

Trust that you’re capable.

Trust that you’ll figure it out, no matter what.

Trust that you will be ok.

Your future self will be wiser, stronger, and better than you were before.

Let go of the need for certainty

The word “certainty” could also be laced with this heavy expectation to achieve that state. You could shy away from possible opportunities and not allow yourself to be open and present. It might feel safer to run, hide, and avoid the situation. Surrendering to the uncertain can feel like the hardest or scariest thing in the world. But it’s in facing the situation and in the doing that’ll help you figure out whether it was truly “right” or not. (Btw, mistakes aren’t wrong. They’re just feedback to help you become more informed in taking your next step.)

Plus, it can be stressful trying to determine amongst all these possible decisions and choices whether your “certain” decision is really the “right” one.

The reality is that it all comes down to “you don’t know until you try.” (Oh… yay?)

But what if there’s another way to approach this?

What if selecting an option amongst the endless possibilities felt effortless? No more bog down with analysis paralysis.

What if your decision making could come from a state of “of course, this is what I do next” without all that nagging doubt? It’s as if you chose your favorite option without hesitation.

I was recently given this word as a gift (Thanks, Anna Sanchez!) that dawned on me as if it ascended from the heavens in a radiant gold light with angels singing in glorious harmony:


YES!! That’s how I want to feel

It felt like the fog around me lifted and I could finally see ahead of me. This is the word that encapsulates the exact way of being that I’ve been searching for.

I want to show up and take action confidently from a state of “choicelessness”.

That frees up my mental power and energy to focus on what truly matters, rather than wasting it on maybes, could’ves, and should’ves.

That allows me to take more action powerfully, rather than with hesitation, fear, and doubt. I’m committed to my decisions, no longer tiptoeing or one foot out the door.

That’ll support me in building momentum that feels unstoppable as I’ll keep making more decisions and taking further actions toward my goals. I’m no longer searching and delaying because I’m just doing from the mindset that other options don’t matter.

Needing certainty felt heavy and burdensome because I had to “know” for sure before I could take action or fully commit. Choicelessness feels lighter and I can feel the pull of “hell yah, let’s go do this!”

So how do you develop this state of “choicelessness”?

By knowing who you want to be and acting as if you’re already that ideal self. Yes, be that person now through your thinking, so actions automatically flow from that mental state, and you’ll naturally have what you desire.

Yes, that’s different than you blindly bumbling around in all the doing in order to try to have what you want, so you could finally be who you want to be. Avoid waiting until then. Let go of the I-can’t-be-that-until-xyz-scenario. That’s procrastination.

You can be that person already by taking the choiceless actions your ideal self would take now.

That’s how you manifest. You create that reality in your mind. Then things happening in the physical will follow and match that reality.

It’s not just doing it once, twice, or just a few times. Your consistent, purposeful efforts will ripple that effect powerfully.

Choose the energy choicelessness rather than needing certainty, and start noticing how your behavior and circumstances start to change.

What’s something you’ve been pondering on for a while now? Imagine stepping into the body of the person you want to be. How would (s)he act and think about the situation? What choiceless decision would you now make?

Jot down the beliefs, strategies, and choiceless habits your ideal self would already have.

Now go take those choiceless actions.


Cheers to releasing the need for absolute certainty and embracing decisive action.



Psst, the featured photo is by Jaroslav Devia via unsplash

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About the author

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date and find their soulmate app-free.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie "Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date
and make those hard conversations easier.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie
"Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

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