Heartstrings tugged

Stop accepting breadcrumbs of attention

Category

Conscious coupling

DATE

February 24 2024

Being strung along is one of the most frustrating, heart-achy feelings.

Your heart strings being tugged at over and over and over again. You are hopelessly pining over them, waiting for that moment for when they finally realize that you are the one they want to be with.

It’s that sliver of hope that keeps this all alive⏤that addictive drug that keeps you hooked, going back for more. Your steadfast reliability, your caring attention, and all the time, energy, and attention you’ve put into that person will finally pay off, right?!

Maybe?

Hopefully?

Please?

Your heart-filled hope is also matched with that cognitive knowingness that they aren’t choosing you. No matter what you do, you still seem like a second, third, or fourth choice to them. You’re their backup plan… if even that.

Their attention is always on themselves or keeping their eye out for someone “better”.

And finally when you feel like you should give up or finally have that courageous moment when you decide to pull away and move on…

They say and do THAT thing—that subtle, simple, little, gentle heart string tug—and you are completely flung back in at their beck and call.

…with that little bit of attention or by saying the right things.

…just enough to make you surrender your will again.

You know they’re doing it but you feel like there isn’t anything you can do about it.

You want more with them, but they don’t.

You’re willing to give them even more of you, but they don’t appreciate it. They’re only there when they need something from you.

They know what they’re doing.

They’re not clueless.

Some might not be doing this maliciously.

They might be sorting out things for themselves.

BUT…

No matter whatever reasons they’ve said…

No matter whatever excuses you’ve given them…

How they’re treating you is NOT ok.

Those breadcrumbs of attention are like empty calories.

They aren’t good for you.

And here’s the harsh truth I share with you lovingly… You ALWAYS have the choice.

Just like you can choose not to be tempted or eat that junk food.

You can choose not to be tempted or accept those breadcrumbs of attention.

Ultimately, all you’re putting into this person becomes an “empty connection” because it’s not and it won’t go anywhere.

The right person would've chosen you.

The right person won’t treat you this way.

It’s better to have someone reject you than strung along continuously to their benefit.

This “relationship” you’re in isn’t healthy in any way.

Say “no” to those empty relationship calories.

Say “no” so you can be free.

Say “no” so you can be with someone who wants to be with you.

That right person for you has been waiting patiently, but your attention has been on this other person feeding you empty calories.

Your right person is waiting for you to open up your heart to be with them.

Your person is waiting.

…and it’s rude to keep them waiting, right?

 

Cheers to having the courage to say no to those empty dating calories!

 

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Btw, the featured photo is by Polina Tankilevitch via pexels

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About the author

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date and find their soulmate app-free.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie "Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date
and find their soulmate app-free.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie
"Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

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