Photo by carolyn christine on Unsplash

Screw bucket lists. Do this instead…


Living intentionally


April 13 2019

Bucket lists… don’t they just sound so morbid? It’s a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket”, so you don’t feel like you have any regrets when you’re on your deathbed. I wanted something better than a “bucket list”.

Screw that! I want a list that makes me feel alive and celebrates all the awesomeness this world has to offer.

This unknowingly became a part of my self love journey. I was recovering from being a zombified, burnt-out workaholic, and was a little lost as to who I truly am after wrapping my identity around my career and job title for so long. Tuning into and rediscovering my desires became one of the biggest acts of self love. Through examining what lights me up and turns me into a giddy little kid again, I felt myself coming back alive and excited about life again.

The birth of the “outrageous desires list”

On a gorgeous May afternoon in Paris, I sat in the “hot seat” of a retreat, and my coach Lauren Joyce (the Magnetic Woman) helped me uncover this deep motivation within me: I want to live life to the fullest and do things outside of what is commonly perceived and my own comfort zone.

Whoa, what? I was even shocked myself when those words came tumbling out of my mouth.

The term “bucket list” twisted my lips into weird shapes as even my body was showing signs of disapproval. So we came up with an alternative label for me: “an outrageous desires list”.

Doesn’t that just sound so much more fun? Plus, I giggled at the thought of shortening the “outrageous desires list” to the “OD list” and that I could be overdosing on my desires. Now THAT is quite a way to live life!

The concept lingered in the back of my mind for the rest of the day.

Parisian Flat

THE Parisian Flat where my Outrageous Desires List was born

When I finally got back to my cozy Parisian apartment in the evening, I figured why the hell not? Let’s just start writing down some stuff and see where this takes me.

I’ve always had a general list in my head, and have picked up more ideas along the way from friends and other external influences. Once I started jotting them down, more just poured out of me. One after another, seemingly crazy or farfetched ideas appeared on the pages of my journal.

Writing them down paper-to-pen made each desire become increasingly more real

I could feel this burning passion within me to complete them build as my determination strengthened.

The more intriguing part was that this was flowing out of ME. This was my own ultimate list of things I wanted to do in my life. This wasn't one written by someone else suggesting what I should do with this one life I have to live. I chose these…

Although I did have to check myself when I started noticing when ideas originated from pride of “it'd be so cool if I did this and other people knew” or obligation from “well, this is what I should want, right?”. When that happened, I just tuned back into my heart and asked myself, “would this truly make me happy?” and see if I felt that little spark or that little voice within me going “hell yah!!”

: When you write out yours, just jot everything in mind out onto paper. You can go back to review and evaluate them later. Even being so aware, I did have outrageous desires I crossed off my list later on. Remember, this list can evolve and grow with you. It's ok when you grow out of certain desires.

I had about 50 or so, but I wasn’t going to stop there! I started googling to seek out more inspiration. That’s when I realized, “holy shit, I’ve actually achieved quite a bit of what other people have listed on theirs”. (Alright, I admit… I might have been beaming with joy and some pride from my discovery. And I also know that I am fortunate while still consciously making the choice to seek out these opportunities.) These just sparked feelings of gratitude and the motivation to complete even more!

A few hours passed and in the wee hours of the morning, I had a list of about 80 or so. It felt so inspiring! Some I knew I was going to achieve before the year ended, others maybe next year or two, and several just sometime in my future.

The best part was that I felt like it was all possible

No matter how outrageous they were, it DID feel possible. It felt a little crazy but mostly exhilarating. I ended this exercise with a massive smile on my face, and it didn't matter that it was past 2 am in the morning.

From here, I’ve seen and experienced the ripple effects of setting and then achieving my outrageous desires. And I know it’s possible for you, too. This can refuel your soul again.

I challenge you to create your own outrageous desires list and see how your life starts shifting. Turn these into SMART goals, and set plans in making them happen. Use this list as an inspiration for things to look forward to. Imagine how it would feel to look back on your life knowing that you've completed these. How fulfilling would that feel?

Ready, set… GO!


Grab a sheet of paper or open a new doc. Just start jotting down anything that comes to your mind. Don’t hold yourself back in any way or try to justify any of the ideas on whether it’s possible or not.

These ideas can be for any aspect of your life—relationships, travel, life goals, things you want to learn, things you’ve always wanted to try, things outside of your comfort zone, anything big or small, etc.

Just let your imagination run wild…

Be outrageous with me and declare your desires!

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Psst, the featured photo is by Carolyn Christine via unsplash and the Parisian flat photo was taken by the author.

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About the author

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date and find their soulmate app-free.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie "Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

Kat Nieh is a dating clarity coach bringing more fun, trust, and openness back into dating. She helps single working professionals go on their last first date
and make those hard conversations easier.

She has also published 3 books, is a best selling author, and has been featured on tv, podcasts, and media publications as a love expert.

Get her freebie
"Find Your Soulmate Fast" here!

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