Boosting dating confidence with your wardrobe

Introducing this special guest post from
Abby Young of Abby Young Styling

(Yup, that's Abby in the photo above!)

Abby Young is a Silicon Valley certified fashion stylist with speciality in color analysis and runway, commercial, and editorial styling.

Prior to becoming a fashion stylist, she spent 6 years as an English Teacher, honing the skills of teaching / explaining / building rapport with massive creativity. Today, Abby is lit up by continuing her teaching career, but in a different way. Her goal is to equip you with the necessary tools to feel beautiful, confident, and have a positive self-image.

Through her extreme attention to client needs and precise execution of clothing, she guides top-level executives and entrepreneurs to elevate their confidence, authority, and comfortability – all through the power of their wardrobe. You can find her on Instagram @abbyyoungstyling or on her website abbyyoungstyling.com.

Let’s face it, dating can be scary especially if you are new to it, are reentering the dating scene, or have finally navigated through all of the swiping to schedule the first date. Now, you have the first date on the calendar and a whole new set of fears arise; you think to yourself: “What do I say?” “What do we talk about?” and, “What do I even wear!?” From my experience, when you find “the one”, the person whom you are meant to be with, conversation flows naturally. There is no doubt that the person who you are meant to be with will love you for who you are but your first impression, your non-verbal communication also matters; non-verbal communication includes your clothing.

Clothing can communicate and convey qualities such as: character, sociability, competence, and intelligence. You can use specific colors and clothes to not only portray who you truly are but also to impact your mood and affect how you are perceived by others. The term researchers have coined for this is “enclothed cognition.”

Enclothed cognition originated from cognitive psychologists Hajo Adam and Adam D. Galinsky in 2012 during an experiment where participants were asked to wear white lab coats or painting coats and were tested on their selective attention. They found that the participants wearing the white lab coats had an increase in sustained and heightened attention. Based on this experiment, they deducted that the clothing we wear has an impact on our psychology due to the symbolic meaning people ascribe to clothing.

For example, if you wear bright colors such as yellow or orange, you might feel and convey qualities such as friendliness and cheerfulness because these colors symbolize these characteristics. If you wear a suit you might feel and convey confidence and assertiveness because the suit symbolizes power.

It is possible to plan how you want to feel, portray yourself, and be perceived by others by choosing specific colors and types of clothing. Depending on the context of your date, you might choose to dress more formal or casual. Either way is fine as long as you are dressed for the right context!

Plan your message with color:

Yellow – cheerful & stimulating
Orange – friendly, warm, & earthly
Raspberry – friendly & intelligent
Fuchsia – vivacious
Red – strong & authoritative
Light Purple – spiritual
Deep Purple – creative & artistic
Blue – trustworthy
Green – calm & elegant
Brown – non-threatening, stable, supportive, & reliable
Black – powerful, strong, & charismatic

What about logos & patterns?

Logos & patterns – keep in mind that logos & patterns can communicate a direct non-verbal message about what you like, dislike, and value as well as what the colors symbolize as well

Plan your message with clothing (casual or formal):

Dress – feminine, elegant, & attractive
Skirt – feminine, delicate, & soft
Button up shirt/dress shirt/blouse – refined, sophisticated, & clean
Nice jeans or chinos – relaxed & individual
Dress pants/trousers/slacks – (bridge the gap between casual & formal) refined, sophisticated, & clean
Heels – feminine, class, refined taste
Dress shoes – class & style

Please comment below and let us know what you struggle with the most when it comes to dressing for a date. Eager for more information on reflecting your true self through your wardrobe? Kat Nieh, dating clarity coach of thoughtfullykat, illustrates how to improve your first impressions not only through your wardrobe but also with 1 secret ingredient! Discover the secret ingredient here.