Conscious love + dating

Let’s redefine soulmate relationships

heart polaroid in hand
Hi, I'm         
Dating clarity coach
kat
I write and teach content
on CONSCIOUS LOVE+DATING,
and LIVING INTENTIONALLY.

Soulmates. You say that one simple word, and not-so-simple connotations come from it. A flurry of romantic, fateful encounters might come to mind. The heroic love-conquers-all stories of the fairy tales might make you swoon. It’s even possible that all the deep turmoil and drama created by Hollywood or Shakespearean plays could bring up that tinge of heartache resulting from not-so-easy life conditions throwing hurdles at soulmates to overcome.

The gist of it is… the concept of a soulmate isn’t that simple.

What is a soulmate

We all have a basic understanding of it, so I won’t dive into that.

What I do want to mention is the soulmate myth of the one-and-only. Doesn’t that seem bleak? So you only have this “ONE” soulmate in life. Who the hell is your soulmate? What if you missed your opportunity with them? What if fate messed up and never brought you two together? What if you made the wrong choice? These endless questions create this unsurmountable pressure that you better get it right or else your happily-ever-after is doomed. It’s like you’re chasing after this ideal image of a perfect partner in your dream relationship that is always rainbows-and-unicorns every day.

Can we please reprogram that myth in your mind?

You have more than one.

Now doesn’t that feel so much better? (Did you just do a little sigh of relief?)

Don’t put so much pressure on the person you’re with needing to be your soulmate. That person doesn’t need to be your one-and-only-soul match. You don’t need to require an image of perfection from them. It’s when you drop all those relationship expectations and assumptions that you can transparently cocreate the relationship you truly desire with your partner.

Let’s see soulmates differently

Instead of placing that image of a soulmate onto a person, shift your thinking to see it more as a QUALITY.

Here’s the difference: If you see it as a PERSON, you either get the right person or not. It requires your “soulmate” to be a 100% match. But if you see it as a QUALITY, then you could build this soulmate-quality relationship with anyone who is a close match.

The goal then turns into whether two people have the willingness to come together to cocreate the custom fit relationship that works for them both. Their intentional choice to do whatever it takes for the relationship to work and build a deep connection with each other is what truly matters, not finding the mythical other half of your soul. 

Alright, I am simplifying this a bit here, but can you see the difference between the two perspectives on soulmates?

People can be soulmates and not have that willingness. And those relationships don’t work out well in the long term anyways—they either break up or miserably stay together in the relationship.

Couples who have that willingness are the ones you see as two white-haired, wrinkled individuals that still exude that endearing love for each other.

What is your soulmate relationship like

I just announced this week that I have an upcoming program called “Soulmate Relationship Clarity” (starting in July) that leverages my Avatar Manifestation Method to help you manifest your partner. I named this program very intentionally. It seems fairly simple, but there’s more to it.

Yes, I used the word “soulmate”. But just as I explained earlier, this program will help you get clear about your soulmate relationship as the quality of a relationship you’re looking for. You’ll be defining the details of that relationship in various aspects to get a holistic image of who + what you want in a relationship.

No one has an identical avatar. Even the ones written by perfect couples aren't identical because they’ll be highlighting different aspects of the relationship that truly matters to them. Avatar writing is completely nonexclusive, no matter what sort of preferences you have. It is truly yours because no one else wrote it. 

If you’ve been reading my content, you would’ve noticed that I typically use the word “partner”, not “soulmate”. Once again, it’s very intentional. The soulmate quality has the connotation that it just magically works without much effort. Therefore, I chose the word “partner” because it has an underlying meaning of someone you are working in collaboration with for a common goal. Relationships require both people to be involved and put in the necessary effort to make it work, especially if you’re looking for the quality caliber of a soulmate relationship.

Now that your perspective on soulmates has changed, how would you approach dating and your relationship differently going forward?

 

Cheers to developing soulmate quality relationships!

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June 10, 2022

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SIGN UP for my Paper Plane inbox delivery service where I share personal, behind-the-scene stories of what inspired these topics weekly. You can view previous ones here: thoughtfullykat.com/signup

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Hi, I'm         
kat
Dating clarity coach
I write and teach content
on CONSCIOUS
LOVE+DATING, and
LIVING INTENTIONALLY.

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