“Just go on that date, even if it's just practice.”

WARNING… WARNING… Wrong approach alert!

This commonly shared “practice” advice doesn't improve your situation, and actually perpetuates the problem.

Sure, it comes from a good place and seems like sound advice if you feel somewhat rusty with dating, but consider what you're actually doing and what most often happens after those dates.

The person wasn't what you wanted.
You sat through the date wishing you didn't go.
Chances for a second date are slim to none.
This feeds into your belief that dating is hard and there are no good matches for you out there.

So… what was the practice really for?

Get this. My client said she worked with another coach who told her to just go on more dates as practice.

Then I asked her, “How did that go?”

She said she’s tired of practicing and wants to meet her person now.

Yup, exactly! I wasn't surprised since that strategy isn’t something I recommend… for 2 reasons:

• If you keep going on dates with people you’re not interested in “just for the practice”, then that is exactly what you’ll keep manifesting… more people to “practice” on.

I also don’t recommend that because think about what you’re doing.

• You’re just using that person versus being genuinely interested in them. How would you feel to be “used” like that? Plus, eventually, you’ll have to break it off because you weren’t interested in them in the first place. So why play with someone else's heart like that?

There’s a difference between “being open to someone different” versus “using someone for practice”.

Your intention always matters, because that’s the energy you bring into that date.

If you want to go on your last first date, then go on dates with people you ARE curious about or interested in. Then drop the expectations and be open to however the date unfolds.

Be genuine with your intentions. Keep them pure if you want to find someone who's also interested in the same.

Change the belief that you’ll scare away someone because you weren't “perfect”.

Adopt the belief that there’s nothing you can do to chase away the right person.

It’s by showing up as yourself that you’ll attract the right person for you.

If you keep thinking you’ll mess up the relationship by doing something “wrong”, then you’ll be walking through your relationship on eggshells waiting for that moment when you weren’t enough.

So stop.

Stop with the “practicing” energy.

Start being yourself more.

When you’re more yourself and actually show up with an open heart, that is more attractive to your ideal partner than any other strategy.

 

Cheers to believing you're enough as you are.

 

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, join my Paper Plane inbox delivery service to get content like this delivered biweekly.

Btw, the featured photo is by Jep Gambardella via pexels